by katai86Függő – Hol van? MOST akarom AZONNAL!
- Kinek és/vagy minek vagy a rabja?
- Miként van ez befolyással az életedre?
- Amennyiben elképzelnéd magad függőség nélkül, milyen lenne az életed?
Milyen olyan dolog van az életedben, amiről úgy érzed, hogy nagyon nehezen tudnál lemondani, vagy esetleg nem is tudnál? Mit gondolsz, mitől van ez az érzés, amiért ilyen elválaszthatatlanul képezi a részedet? Valóban egy nélkülözhetetlen dologról van szó, vagy csupán egy rögeszme? Mi van akkor, ha ez nem egy dolog, vagy szokás, hanem egy személy? Nem érzed túlságosan a kiszolgáltatottságot ebben a formában? Mástól függ minden, ami vagy, minden, amit érzel – az életed fölött így igazából nem is te rendelkezel. Mi történne, ha mindez egyszer csak megváltozna? Bizonyára traumát okozna. A kérdés viszont az, hogy melyik trauma volt előbb – az, ami a változás előtt történt, vagy ami azt követte? Válaszul: minden, ami trauma, az egy félreértés a pszichében, ami aztán változásokat okoz a szomában, tudatunkban, gondolatainkban, reakcióinkban, mígnem testileg is megnyilvánul a fizikai részünkben.
Természetesen a függőségeknek vannak fokozatai – azonban, ha azt érzem, hogy bármilyen apróság is, de nem tudok róla lemondani bármikor, akkor elképzelhető, hogy nem is olyan apró az a valami. Jelen esetben a lényeg és hangsúly nem a lemondáson van, hanem azon, hogy amennyiben valamiről szükséges lenne lemondani valami oknál fogva – ami a javunkat szolgálja -, akkor azt miként éljük meg, mennyire kavar fel minket. Rengeteg olyan függőség létezik az életünkben, ami igazából nem is lemondás volt, hanem megkönnyebbülés a belőle fakadó ki/elválás.
Megjegyzem, hogy ami az élethez elengedhetetlen, mint a víz, levegő, napfény – ezek nem függőségek, hanem létszükség. Érdemes tisztázni, mert sokszor látom, hogy sajnos adaptív vagyis hasznos függőségnek nevezik, miközben jellemzően az maga a család, barátok, hobbi stb. Függőség az, aminek a hiányában maga az élet még megvalósul, nem úgy, mint a létszükség esetén.
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